Written by Jason Montoya on September 29, 2025. Posted in Community.

4 Ways to Respond to Your Facebook Trolls While Also Keeping Your Peace of Mind

“…how does one cope with being hated by others? ‍By understanding that hatred is often a cover for some lack in the person who seemingly hates you.” - Nina Power

If you have an important message you're sharing and you're getting distracted and bogged down engaging with trolls (bad-faith comments and commenters, not people who simply disagree with you and make an argument), this post is for you. I'll give you four tactics that will eliminate the problem. This comes from someone (me) who fumbled at this for a bit but has since become quite effective.

But first, let's talk about my journey and why I get bad-faith antagonistic comments.

Why I Get Trolls: And Why I Got Distracted By Them

"You're in bed with demons because they shelter you from your insecurities and your failings in masculinity. You choose this serpentine embrace..." - A real comment (not anonymous, but someone I know)

I've been receiving negative comments. Let's rewind and explain how I got here. After the Jan 6 storming of the capital, one regret I had was not speaking up about what I saw coming down the pike. Regret is a great way to change for the better when we face similar challenges.

Fast forward a few years. In 2023, I discovered a big blind spot of mine. I'm a Republican and a Christian who has watched Republicans and Christians become the opposite of all the values they once espoused (and embodied in many real ways).

Like a parent watching their teenager get entangled with toxic friends while making bad decisions, I thought Trumpism was just a phase my religious community and political party would grow out of. Unfortunately, it's turned out to be more like a hostile takeover (and revelation of their dark side). I see them as entrapped inside a cascading set of pharaohs and goliaths that keep constituents in line and away from defection (even though defection is what they should be doing).

So, based on my regret, the stakes, and this discovered dynamic, I decided in the fall of 2023 to become politically active online, knowing the tension it'd create and the pushback I would get from friends and family.

And the pushback came from all directions.

This pushback exposed the dark underbelly of Trumpism in ways I had not personally experienced but had heard about. When we go public, the worst elements surface rather quickly (particularly when you aim to hold your own group accountable for wrongdoing when they don't want to be accountable). This type of responsibility elicited hostile responses, like the following.

"You Lefties truly have no idea how people on the right...While the people aligned with your way of thinking (there is nothing Republican about you) continue to terrorize Americans." - Another Real (Not anonymous) Troll Comment

I'm a Republican, but I'm often called a lefty, libtard, communist, and all types of other belittling (and wildly inaccurate) names..

Many Republicans want to blame others. They don't want to tell the truth or embrace responsibility. They want to brood and blame. So when a Republican like me takes ownership of our failures, other Republicans don't like it. They try to push me out of the group and say I'm not one of them. Many don't think I can be one of them because I don't hate their enemies enough.

In the 2023 Republican primary, as a Christian and a Republican, I advocated for Republicans to choose someone other than Trump during the primary. They could have picked anyone, but they chose a serial liar and criminal who chronically deceives about election outcomes. Once they made their choice, I campaigned against their choice as a Republican for Kamala Harris.

As I went on this journey, the antagonism came, and I spent a great deal of time and effort attempting to engage with people in good faith (many of whom did reciprocate). But a select group of people I knew on Facebook were not interested in good faith engagement. They were and are not interested in anything other than dominating others. They usually resort to all types of abusive (emotional and spiritual manipulation) behaviors.

After getting pulled into the black hole of these trolls, one of my friends reminded me about my mission and to stay focused on it and not get distracted by these bad-faith actors (who are wasting my time that can be better spent elsewhere). I had a mission to accomplish, and these bad-faith folks were derailing my efforts (which is part of their goal).

After someone has repeatedly demonstrated bad faith engagement, it's time to draw the line and enforce boundaries. Until they change, we're wasting our energy engaging with them and likely rewarding their bad behavior. Don't be like Charlie Brown, who wants to kick the football but is repeatedly tricked by Lucy, who always pulls the ball away.

That was the lesson I learned. I wanted to engage in good faith and find the truth, and I was expecting that everyone had that same commitment. They do not, and I was wasting energy and stressing myself out by pretending they did. Now I've got a great system for dealing with these toxic folks, the ones that send me the following types of comments.

"We aren't on the side of baby murdering Moloch worshippers and Satanists. You're an angry little man vying for social power and control." - Another Real Toxic Commenter

Before I share this framework for dealing with abusive commenters (like the one above), let me emphasize one last thing. In addition to the negative, there have also been a lot of positive engagements. So many people, in person and privately, have messaged me, thanked me, and encouraged me to keep up the good work (including in-person connections around the community and at school events.

It's been a learning experience to see the dark underbelly of my own group and the allies I have that have come from a variety of unexpected places. And many people I thought were one way, turned out differently than I expected (in both directions).

4 Ways To Respond to Toxic Trolls on Facebook

"...you're a weak, manipulative coward and you're left with only one play to try to fight for relevance... all you do is snipe, because the Worm-tongue way is all you can muster." - A real comment from a troll

If you're getting comments like the ones I've shared above (and below), this system will help you out.

When it comes to productive discourse (as opposed to toxic conversations), heated discussions should be done in good faith and focused on the central issues in the original social media post. I've written about this here if you want to see the hierarchy of quality conversations.

When people start name-calling, throwing red herrings around, and talking about irrelevant things, these are good signs that they're engaging in bad faith. If they do it repeatedly, especially when you try to bring it back to the main issues, it's another good sign they are not interested in discovering the truth.

Once a commenter has repeatedly demonstrated bad faith engagement with no interest in the truth or a productive conversation, I have found these four ways to be most helpful in my responses on Facebook.

1. Ignore and Hide the Comment

Not all platforms allow hiding comments; Facebook does. Hiding comments is an incredible tool!

Don't feel guilty hiding trashy comments from people who treat you like trash. And, they won't know you've hidden it, which can help de-escalate the situation.

When someone posts a nasty comment, it can feel emotional. Hiding is such a great option because it quickly deflates the emotion you feel. At that point, you don't have this pressing need to respond. Use this option a lot, and even if you decide to do one of the other options below. You can respond later, unhiding the comment.

When someone is acting cruelly or name-calling, they get hidden right away on my Facebook. Hiding comments is a great way to avoid developing resentment against someone you engage with who constantly opposes you in cruel ways.

2. Disarm The Bully: Absorb the Insult and Amplify It

The other day, a troll said to another troll that I was too far gone and unable to be helped. So I responded saying that "troll one was right, and I'm too far gone to be saved. I'm already in zombie mode and out to pasture." This type of response deflates their insults and makes it less fun for them. It also sometimes causes them to see and feel their cruelty.

This is why one of the most effective ways to deal with a bully and deflate them is to embrace their insult and amplify it. This works because the bully wants a reaction, even if it's antagonistic. A big reaction gives them a dopamine hit. So, the next time someone says you have TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome), embrace it. Tell them your TDS is so bad, you have to get daily blood transfusions just to stay alive (and notice that humor is a good resource to leverage).

3. Indirectly Respond With Generative AI

Most of my trolls are pretty weak reasoners, and they engage on the weakest angles and perspectives (sometimes malicious). They're swimming in logical fallacies and emotional (sometimes spiritual) manipulation.

If I want to use their comment as a springboard to communicate a message to those reading the comments, I'll plug my post into Google Gemini or ChatGPT, and then I'll add the toxic comment and ask AI, What's wrong with it? Or what is this person missing? Instead of responding to the person, I'll instead do a reply comment and say, Gemini, what's wrong with this comment, and then I'll quote part or all of what the AI generated. As a follow-up, I'll sometimes ask, What are some reasons someone engages in this toxic way? I'll then post that question and the answer as another comment.

This works for a few different reasons. First, we're appealing to another source, which is like having a wingman, and it also helps deflate the emotion. And it clearly calls out the toxic behavior and possible reasons for it.

Trolls do not like this at all. It's like pouring salt on a slug, so be ready for them to become more emotional and cruel. Simply take their new comment and run it through AI again, or hide it and move on.

And, don't get nervous about them using AI in response, because if they do, it's likely that AI will steer them to contend with the substance, which is not something they are interested in doing (even though that's what I want).

If you want to see an example of this approach in action, I've got a good one mapped out below.

4. Indirectly Address the Issue in a Follow-up Post

We can channel the emotional energy that comes from hostile and toxic comments into positive action.

This is something I noticed pastor Tim Keller did on Twitter (now X). He'd post something and get some intense comments back. Instead of responding directly to them, he'd address the issues in a subsequent post or series of posts.

Trolls can help motivate us and give us clues about topics to address with the wider audience. So use that information and energy into a productive follow-up.

One More Risky Option: Allowing Nasty Comments To Stay Visible

Many Republican voters don't treat me like trash. Before the 2024 presidential election, I allowed a lot of the hateful comments to remain visible for people to see.

The reason I allowed this is because I wanted people (non-cruel Republicans) to see how cruel many of these Trump loyalists were to me. I had conversations with people who did vote for Trump, who were appalled at how I was treated by these toxic people.

This is what I wanted them to see.

Most people are not going to speak against their own tribe because of how alienating it can be, but it's one of the few ways to actually see the dark side of our own group. I want people in my group to see the cruel underbelly that goes all the way to the top (I'm looking at you, Trump).

With that said, I'll share with you several more of their vile comments, something that Trump does daily, and in large volumes (while supported and celebrated by his Christian voters).

It's hard to push back against toxic behavior and cruelty when our president models this behavior all the time, but as Christians, it's part of our calling (even if we choose to reject it, like so many have).

Below is a selection of more of these cruel comments, from many people who call themselves Christians. These bad-faith actors don't like that I'm not absolutely loyal to Trump, and they go at me in all types of intense and deceptive ways.

"Maybe it's all the plastic bottles you drank out of, possibly the red dye too many Skittles, possibly just possibly you're very uncomfortable with masculinity..." - A Troll Comment

"You are LOST! If I have to shock you back into reality with some harsh insults, so be it."

"You've continued to embrace the Moloch worshippers and to lead others towards them. You're an active threat leading believers to evil."

"...you're someone who seeks to protect artificial systems that elevate eloquent ass kissers instead of brutish ass kickers."

"Why do u constantly peddle commie propaganda??"

One Insight On Combating Propaganda & An Example of an AI Response To a Troll

When you are engaging with people, it can often be fruitless to go back and forth on different topics.

In the following article, historian Ruth Ben-Ghiat discusses an effective approach to combating lies and propaganda.

"...try a tactic that I call "exposing the device": rather than refute the lie, talk about the reason the lie exists - what larger political goals it serves.

Or, as Christopher Paul and Miriam Matthews put it in their study of the Russian "firehose of falsehood," it's best to expose the manipulation process, rather than fight the specific manipulation. And if there is an audience, direct those exposés to it, not back to the propagandist."

This insight is why the AI approach I shared above can be so effective. It allows us to contextualize their toxic comments as part of this larger manipulation process, of which they are participating.

If you are really bold, ask AI to start with its strongest point. This is much more persuasive when you acknowledge the merit of what they are bringing up. Here's a real example of how I leverage this approach on Facebook. Here is what I originally posted.

"It takes no special foresight to anticipate that an authoritarian will behave like an authoritarian.

‍Terminating BLS Commissioner Erika McEntarfer because her agency delivered bad news on the economy is the most cartoonishly banana republic move Trump has pulled in his second term so far (that is, apart from shipping people off to prison in an actual banana republic without due process to be abused).

It’s Caudillo-ism 101, enough so that Venezuelan dictator Nicolás Maduro did nearly the same thing in June when he began arresting independent economists for contradicting his government’s official numbers on inflation and economic growth." - Nick Cattogio, Truth and Consequences: From fake news to fake jobs reports, The Dispatch

In response to that post, someone commented the following.

"I'm glad it doesn't take any, because you don't possess any. Biden never fired ANYONE and look what a shit-show that administration was! It's not gloomy numbers, it's inaccurate numbers. You do the job well, or there's the door. Novel concept, doncha think?"

This was a perfect situation for an AI response. Here's what I responded with.

"Gemini, what's his strongest point, and what's the problem with his overall response?

"In short, the commenter's strongest point is the simple, generally accepted principle that poor job performance is a valid reason for firing someone.

However, the response is fundamentally flawed. It rests on the **unsupported claim** that the BLS data was inaccurate, uses **logical fallacies** like "whataboutism" to deflect from the main topic, and **ignores the original article's central argument**: that firing the head of an independent statistical agency for producing politically inconvenient data is a move characteristic of authoritarianism."'

I followed up asking why someone would respond the way this commenter did.

"Gemini, what are some reasons people respond like this?

"Partisan Loyalty: The commenter is likely defending a political figure they support. The immediate pivot to criticizing the previous administration is a common tactic to reframe the debate and show allegiance to a political "team."

Motivated Reasoning: He may be rejecting information that reflects negatively on his preferred leader. To resolve this conflict, he concludes the data must be "inaccurate" rather than accepting a politically damaging fact.

Defensive Reaction: The aggressive and dismissive tone suggests he perceived the original article as an attack on his own beliefs and worldview, prompting an emotional and hostile counter-argument rather than a factual one."'

Glorious!

Drop the microphone and move on.

And the frosting on the cake is that it only took me a few minutes to generate and post these. Once I posted, I moved on with my life.

A Harsh Response May Be A Clue That They Are Changing Their Mind

"Targeting that considers some groups “unpersuadable” is misguided." - Alexander Coppock

Based on research found in the book, Persuasion in Parallel, the emotional reaction could be an indication of the person being challenged and resisting wanting to change their mind.

In a talk with the author (Alexander Coppock), here are two things he brings up.

"What normally happens is that people update their views in the direction of information and it doesn't matter what your background is, you update a small amount in the direction of information. And even though you dislike it when it's counter-attitudinal, you still update your external information...

We all have to manage where we are on that trade-off, like at dinner with your family you might want to change their minds on something, but they would be mad at you if you did, so sometimes we avoid that conflict, even though it would be a little bit effective."

Don't underestimate the effect you can have on those you disagree with, even when they respond intensely and emotionally. You are likely moving them, even if it's only a little bit.

He also gives a couple of tips to help with the reaction and reception.

"Affective costs of persuasion are unavoidable, but you can sugar-coat to make people like you more. To be persuasive to out-group members, avoid group cues in favor of persuasive information."

If their harsh response is not because they are changing their mind, it could be due to another reason, like a severe case of cognitive dissonance. When we are feeling guilty about what we're saying or doing, and we know it subconsciously, we want to fight anything that would make us face our conscience. At first, we were confused, then we tried to avoid and run away from it. If those don't work, people want to attack it and make it go away.

“…how does one cope with being hated by others?…By knowing who you are and who you love/who loves you in real life. By knowing full well that the internet is not reality, and has very little life compared to your friends, family, and community. It is important not to take the hatred of the other seriously, particularly when it comes from strangers. You know what is true and beautiful and good.” - Nina Power