Is your life what you thought it would be?
Is your life what you thought it would be?
When we have children we start to learn quickly how much the "how" matters. The other day David, our son, asked for orange juice.
As I poured the orange juice (content) into the green cup (container), he very angrily expressed how I put it into the wrong cup and how he wanted it to be in the orange cup. He was unwilling to drink it out of the green cup.
I'm thinking, he asked for and is getting the orange juice why does it matter what color the cup is? To him, at that moment, the type of cup mattered more than the orange juice itself.
This is not so different than us.
Have you ever had a friend, boss or spouse tell you something about yourself that was hard to hear?
Were you so upset or hurt about how (Container) they said it, you missed what (Content) they had to say?
Many of us have a hard time accepting the 'content' when how (container) it is shared offends us. In many cases, we respond emotionally as a gut reaction thinking later there was no truth to what they said because of how they said it.
So, what if we could learn to drink from a purple cup when purple is a color that disgusts us? What if we could learn to grow when our spouse or friend says something that hits a nerve?
It's easier said than done. When it comes to the people we care about most it almost seems impossible. As difficult as it may seem, know when we make the commitment to embrace the 'what' regardless (within reason) of the 'how' we can become a catalyst for growth in our relationships.
For those of you sharing truth, criticism or feedback consider asking the recipient if and how they would like to receive it. When we do this, we set up a better environment for true reception and reflection. Being intentional about our 'how" minimizes the likelihood it becomes a distraction to "what" is really important.
Where are you too focused on the "how" and not enough on the "what"?
Here are my best findings during my last week of reading, listening and watching on-line content.
"Faith isn’t a blind faith, but a response to the evidence. It is based on real events that can be investigated. A leap in the dark has never been the offer, as it is about stepping into the light."
"Indeed, Martin and Livio provide yet one more example of the evidence accumulating for the supernatural design of the solar system for the specific benefit of human beings and human civilization. Let’s thank God for the exquisite design of our solar system’s five belts of asteroids and comets that make it possible for us to exist."
"What makes a happy marriage? It’s an age-old question that all married couples are forced to grapple with, especially when wedded bliss evaporates. And it’s the very curiosity that author and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn explores in her recently released book, “The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.” Feldhahn, who is in the midst of a multi-year research project about matrimony, has spent years collecting qualitative and quantitative information about what makes — and breaks — couples."
"This is frightening, because when you offer a menu, often people will get hung up on their status quo and just say "no." You can't get rejected when all you offer is an index, but getting your menu rejected is one of the symptoms that you're doing the hard work of making an impact."
(Hint, Hollywood has gotten lazy)
What are you holding onto?
While talking with a friend at a networking event, we observed the crowds which quickly stimulated a conversation between the two of us about people and leadership.
If you've not heard the story of the crabs or the concept of 'crab mentality' ("if I can't have it, neither can you") here is a quick recap.
When people go fishing for crabs with a bucket, it is important they bring a lid for the first crab. The reason is, they'll attempt to crawl out of the bucket and will most likely succeed. Once you catch the second crab, you no longer have to keep the crab covered because the other crabs in the bucket will keep each other from crawling out.
When we are in the bucket (situation, trouble, etc...) with others, we tend to pull each other down. So why when we help others out of the bucket do they resist so heavily?
He put his hand out and invited me to do the same. He began pushing on my hand and I immediately, out of instinct, pushed right back. He then put his hand out again, face up. I put my hand out, he grabbed it and began to walk away. I immediately began to follow. These were very similar actions but resulted in two completely different responses.
When we push people to move forward, we establish resistance. If instead of pushing, we choose to open up, cast a vision, move towards it, and invite others along the way, they're more likely to willingly follow.
In your life, who are you pushing? How will you transition to pulling?
After running my business several years, I was finally audited but the IRS for our 2008 tax returns. It was an unpleasant experience, to say the least. Thankfully, I came across the wonderful company Shoboxed, which resulted in hundreds of saved hours scanning and processing receipts.
In 2010, I came across the wonderful tool irunurun. It was a powerful tool to help me ensure I completed the things that moved my life and work forward each week. Over the years, I struggled to maintain consistency, but the timing of my personal development and this tool was a perfect storm for helping me achieve the success I was seeking.
In this guest blog post, I share my experience with Pipeline Deals. After exploring multiple CRM tools, this is the one I fell in love with. I ended up using for my sales efforts and required my sales team do the same. It's a great tool for managing contacts, and one I've advocated for years.
2011 was the year of intentionality for us at Noodlehead Marketing. We had decided who we were and what our mission was and this year was about living it out. During our journey, the patch caught up with me to write a story about my history and the future of the company. It's a fun read and glimpse into how we were thinking.