February 12th 2014: Best Content of the Last Week

In case you missed it, my last post was on procrastination. Click here to read it.

Here is the best content I consumed this past week...

Best in Marriage

Why Your Marriage Needs Fighting, and Lots of It by Selena Frederick

"Sometimes it’s easier to not fight. It’s easier to ignore the problem(s) and just try to get through the day. But this tends to leave us divided and unable to fight for our marriages."

Best in Thinking Different

...different people differently by Seth Godin

"A very long time ago, shoe salespeople realized that shoes that don't fit are difficult to sell, regardless of what you've got in stock. Today, the people you serve are coming to realize that like their shoe size, their needs are different, regardless of what your urgent agenda might be."

Best In Eye Opening

Could Your Brain Be Hacked? by ASAP Science

Best In Learning

The Power of Empathy by RSA

Best in Short Films

PROXiMITY (A Short Film by Ryan Connolly)

Why We Procrastinate

procrastinate

We procrastinate in life. 

It could be doing a chore, pursuing a dream, starting a business, or writing a book.

Why do we do it? If we are honest with ourselves, it seems we can boil it down to three fundamental reasons. 

  1. We believe if we wait long enough, it won't need to be done. 
  2. We believe if we wait long enough, someone else will do it.
  3. It is not a priority.

Truly facing reality can be difficult, but it's our first step in being proactive.

What, in your life, are you procrastinating? Which is your reason?

February 5th 2014: Best Content Of The Week

Here is the best content of the week...

Best in Faith

How I (Malcolm Gladwell) Rediscovered Faith

"I wanted to know where the Derksens found the strength to say those things. A sexual predator had kidnapped and murdered their daughter, and Cliff Derksen could talk about sharing his love with the killer and Wilma could stand up and say, “We have all done something dreadful in our lives, or have felt the urge to.” Where do two people find the power to forgive in a moment like that?"

Best in Fishing

Near World Record Lake Trout - YouTube

Best in Sports

Slam Dunk Edition

Best in Self Awareness

8 Common Thinking Mistakes Our Brains Make Every Day and How to Prevent Them - The Buffer Blog

"I was seriously shocked at some of these mistakes in thinking that I subconsciously make all the time. Obviously, none of them are huge, life-threatening mistakes, but they are really surprising and avoiding them could help us to make more rational, sensible decisions."

Best in Leadership

Pave The Way

"What would it take for a leader to feel pride when an employee resigns? It would take a leader who had decided to be intentional about living out his legacy, which then inspired one of his employees to do the same. We made the claim last week that unexpected things can happen when someone lives out their legacy, and a “Lyceum casualty” could be one of those things."

Pork Barreling Desires

"Where do the conflicts and where do the quarrels among you come from? Is it not from this, from your passions that battle inside you? You desire and you do not have; you murder and envy and you cannot obtain; you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask; you ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly, so you can spend it on your passions." James 4:1-3

pig-pork-barreling

There have been numerous seasons when sharing my thoughts, ideas, desires and feelings have been difficult for me. Somewhere along the way I was made to feel guilty, crazy, embarrassed about what was in my mind and heart. So, instead of sharing I pushed these thoughts and feelings deep down inside.

As my hesitancy to ask for what I wanted increased, my desires did not decrease. This meant I  had to get creative in getting what I wanted. One of these creative methods I employed was the idea I now call, Pork Barreling Desires.

Pork Barreling is a term used in our government. When lawmakers in our government add financial "bonuses" to laws for their local districts usually having nothing to do with the actual law. By piggybacking on others' desires we realize we can get what we want and avoid a potential conflict.

How does it play out in real life?

I love Chick-Fil-A, and I love the Spicey Chicken Sandwich. This desire used to come with a guilt about wanting something for myself. I felt I was being selfish. I also wanted to maintain a certain image to the world and to my wife so I couldn't come across as selfish.

Out of my own self-righteousness, I got creative. I knew she loved the vanilla milkshakes, and I knew if I offered to get her one she would not turn it down. I would go to to her, without disclosing my own desire, asking if she would like me to go get her a milkshake. She said yes, and I went.

Then, while I was at Chick-Fil-A getting my wife a milkshake, I went ahead and ordered that Spicey Chicken Sandwhich while I was there. I served my wife, and I got what I wanted. It all worked out well, right?

My actions looked clean, but my heart was tainted. I was attempting to maintain a certain image of myself and get what I wanted secretly. In writing this, it seems silly to think I behaved liked this.

What do I do now? I'm upfront and honest. I say, I'm heading to Chick-Fil-A to get some food. Would you like something while I am there? Easy and open. No confusion. No hiding desires. No facades.

What desires are you pork barreling at home? At work?

January 29th 2014: Best Content of the Last Week

Here is the best content I found during the last week.

Best in Business

The Fruit Stand Effect by Ron Mariotti

"Most people will walk a little further and pay a little more for a better experience and experience is intimately tied to the quality and authenticity of relationships. The good news about this is that work is more fulfilling AND more profitable when people come first. It is something so simple and yet so easy to forget."

Best in Learning

If You Commit to Nothing, You’ll Be Distracted by Everything: Lessons from the “Marathon Monks” by James Clear

"What is this quest that kills so many of the monks? And what can you and I learn from it?"

Best in Science

Old DNA Causes New Problems for Human Evolution by Dr. Fazale Rana

"Recently, anthropologists set a world record when they isolated mitochondrial DNA from the 400,000-year-old femur of a Homo heidelbergensis specimen. The sequence of this DNA yielded a surprise for researchers when they discovered that it aligns more closely with that of the enigmatic Denisovans than with Neanderthal sequences. This latest work highlights the tentative nature of even the best ideas in human evolution."

Content (What) and Containers (How)

container

When we have children we start to learn quickly how much the "how" matters. The other day David, our son, asked for orange juice. As I poured the orange juice (content) into the green cup (container) he very angrily expressed how I put it into the wrong cup and how he wanted it to be in the orange cup. He was unwilling to drink it out of the green cup.

I'm thinking, he asked for and is getting the orange juice why does it matter what color the cup is? To him, in that moment, the type of cup mattered more than the orange juice itself.

This is not so different than us.

Have you ever had a friend, boss or spouse tell you something about yourself that was hard to hear?
Were you so upset or hurt about how (Container) they said it you missed what (Content) they had to say?

Many of us have a hard time accepting the 'content' when how (container) it is shared offends us. In many cases, we respond emotionally as a gut reaction thinking later there was no truth to what they said because of how they said it.

So, what if we could learn to drink from a purple cup when purple is a color that disgusts us?
What if we could learn to grow when our spouse or friend says something that hits a nerve?

It's easier said then done and when it comes to the people we care about most it almost seems impossible. As difficult as it may seem, know when we make the commitment to embrace the 'what' regardless, within reason, of the 'how' we can become a catalyst for growth in our relationships.

For those of you sharing truth, criticism or feedback consider asking the recipient if and how they would like to receive it. When we do this, we setup a better environment for true reception and reflection. Being intentional about our 'how" minimizes the likelihood it becomes a distraction to "what" is really important.

Where are you too focused on the "how" and not enough on the "what"?

January 22nd 2014: Best Content Of The Last Week

Here are my best findings during my last week of reading, listening and watching on-line content.

Enjoy :)

Best in Parenting

How I made sure all 12 of my kids could pay for college themselves

Best In Faith

Why Isn’t God More Obvious? by Tom Price

"Faith isn’t a blind faith, but a response to the evidence. It is based on real events that can be investigated. A leap in the dark has never been the offer, as it is about stepping into the light."

Best In Science

Thank God for the Solar System’s Asteroid Belts by Dr. Hugh Ross

"Indeed, Martin and Livio provide yet one more example of the evidence accumulating for the supernatural design of the solar system for the specific benefit of human beings and human civilization. Let’s thank God for the exquisite design of our solar system’s five belts of asteroids and comets that make it possible for us to exist."

Best In Marriage

Five Secrets About What Makes a Happy Marriage by Billy Hallowell

"What makes a happy marriage? It’s an age-old question that all married couples are forced to grapple with, especially when wedded bliss evaporates. And it’s the very curiosity that author and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn explores in her recently released book, “The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.” Feldhahn, who is in the midst of a multi-year research project about matrimony, has spent years collecting qualitative and quantitative information about what makes — and breaks — couples."

Best In Challenging

The index and the menu by Seth Godin

"This is frightening, because when you offer a menu, often people will get hung up on their status quo and just say "no." You can't get rejected when all you offer is an index, but getting your menu rejected is one of the symptoms that you're doing the hard work of making an impact."

Best In Art & Entertainment

WTF Happened to Movie Posters?

(Hint, Hollywood has gotten lazy)

Best in Reality Check

Automating

 

 

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